So...there hasn't been much to say. But now there is:

Let's talk about lady presidents.

It's a pressure weighing down on us and one of the unadressed goals of feminism. An almost unsaid goal: Get a female president, then you will achieve equality.

But I don't believe in equality, because equality has the connotation of sameness and that makes life bland. The idea that everyone is the same is a Communist one. I want people to feel that way. If I can get people to equate equality with Communism then the post Cold War instincts recieved from our parents will drive us toward the negative. Then we will stop feeling this way. Equality will never happen and it is a useless ideal. The sooner we get rid of it the sooner we can move on.

Being born female, I do not have the luxury of men to disregard feminism, though I have tried. I have to face the issue of my gender and address my own beliefs before I can act against equality. I've read it. Linda Nochlin, Barbara Solomon, Sojourner Truth and Sylvia Plath. I've read some, probably not enough. I've talked about it in culture, in art, in regards to Comunism. First generation, second generation. I've read about pornography as violence and opression against women and I've seen Suicide Girls make it their own. I've seen people refuse bras, not shave their legs and proclaim their wombs the center of their being. I've seen women who seek to be men, and men who praise strong women. I've been subject to catcalls, insults, heckling, stalking, politeness and chivalry. I've felt loved, pretty, sexy, despised, ugly and hated by men. I've felt fear and I've felt confidence. I have been removed from men, too shy, too terrified, too confident, too smart to date. As for my beliefs? My femnisit beliefs? All I say is three things: 1. Opression has two parts. The opressor and the opressed. 2. Men and women should not seek to be equal, no one should. We should all seek to be our best. 3. If you don't want to be looked down on, treated like less or given less, then don't be.

A woman president? That would be swell. But only if they're elected for the right reasons. Don't elect someone just because they have a vagina, elect someone because you agree with their views, because you believe they can best represent your country. Do not look at them as female, do not look at them as male. They aren't white, black, latino, male, female, transgendered or otherwise. If your ideal candidate happens to be female then fine. If they happen to be a Republican and you're a Democrat, that's ok too. I know these things will never truely be seperate from our goals, but we can hope and we can try.

Herr God, Herr Lucifer
Beware
Beware.

Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air
Thylacine 6"x8" Monoprint on BFK Reeves White with etching inks (c)

2007

So it's been well over two months. I'm very much done with camp and have been home a few weeks since. Camp this year was...a lot. I think the most exhausting and rewarding year ever. I don't know whats happening next year. I hope I can go back, I think I would like to. It's hard for me to work so closely with a big group of people, I'm Avoidant and Anxious and when this gets aggravated I become Paranoid. It's true that at camp I have a higher risk of panic attacks but I feel that the experience outweighs all of this. I can spend days there with crushing pain in my chest but it is always worth it. I love the staff, and I love having the opportunity to work with kids and take them seriously. I love being able to treat them as adults and not talk down to them and see the results. So, camp was great, but now it's over.
I moved at the beginning of the month. It was...intense. The new apartment is beautiful and newly renovated. So newly renovated that it...isn't quite finished. I'm still waiting on a door for my room. But it's ok. It's in Mission Hill, and the whole street and the streets around us are all college students. I think that's good for me, even if I tend to get aggravated by them being silly and loud while I try to sleep. Also, this semester I started classes at Tufts. It's very exciting, I'm there from about noon to 9:30 at night every Monday. The classes are very interesting. I was hoping to...you know...meet some boys. But I'm such a fucking social wreck that I doubt it's going to happen. I'm too smart or aggressive or ugly or something. It's kind of frustrating/depressing. What happened to guys pursuing someone? Fuck it, I don't need people.
Anyway here's a tv stand I found on the street during the big move. The first of September is a great time to get a ton of free furniture, which I did. My prized piece is an antique floor lamp that matches my bed. Anyway I painted this stand black and then put some swirly funky Victorian inspired floral patterns on it and sprayed it with acrylic gloss to protect it. Looks good.
Refinished TV Stand Painted and refinished particle board tv stand with Victorian elements. (c) 2007